IT’S NOT A GIVEN…that you will have another day tomorrow to do the things you do not do today.
Tommorrow is not a promise that God makes to us and yet so many of us live like it is gauranteed, me included. Today this statement is made painfully real as we mourn the loss of one of our most treasured sisters. I sit here thinking of all the things I take for granted in my life: the time I have been given to spend with my husband, the time I have been given to spend with my children, with my parents and my brothers and sisters and their children and I am ashamed to say that I do not make the most of it. Not even close, but what I am most ashamed about is the fact that I allow petty, shallow, ridiculous, uncontrollable things to steal my emotions and attention away from what matters most.
I will spend my evenings in the kitchen discussing with JY the impact others bad intentions and evil deeds are having on us and stew and brew about how awful it is and about how negatively it is affecting us and how we are just so tired of dealing with the situation. Olivia will come in the kitchen with love and joy to offer and I will actually look down at my precious sweet daughter and say…OK I will be in there in a minute Olivia, not right now! Oh My what am I doing….I am saying NO to the purest most sincere joy and happiness brought by spending time with my child so that I can be frustrated a little longer by a person who means nothing and brings nothing but dissention into my home….what am I DOING? How many times do we spend so much time worrying about what will happen when “so in so” does “such and such” that we forget to appreciate the moment at hand… right before us…to do something that truly matters and will further the kingdom of God or will bring joy to our lives or to someone else? I am so very sad to say that I waste so much time. Time that should be spent loving on my family and helping out my neighbor, or loving on a person who needs to hear a kind or positive word.
Life is so very short. One minute you are here, wrapped up in a world that tries its best to tear us down and shake our attention away from what matters in our lives and the next minute you are gone. The time we have on earth is unknown, but our job while we are here is not. We are expected to love one another as we love ourselves. We are expected to help our neighbors and to share in what God has given us. As parents we are expected to raise our children in fear of the Lord and to give them our very best. To love and to nurture them and raise them up to be soldiers for Christ and his kingdom.
I have wasted time on old vendettas and in holding grudges and settling scores. I have taken my attention away from my kids and husband to focus on the things that feed my selfish sinful nature because “I needed a break” Today I am reminded that I really do not need or want a break. I want to treasure every second I am given with my kids. I want to run home and love on them and hold them and snuggle with them and tell them how much I love them and that they really are God’s most precious gifts to me. I want them to know that I am so very proud of them and that G0d has a very special plan for their lives and that no matter what, I pray that they will seek and listen to God and follow his commands because they are even more precious to him than they are to me. I want to be with my husband in our home and tell him how much I love him and how greatful I am that God sent him to me. I want him to know that I believe in him and that his efforts as the leader and provider in our household do not go unnoticed. That I respect him and that my life would not be the same without him in it. And finally, I want to be on my knees with my Savior. I want to run to him and have him hold me in his arms and comfort me the way only HE can. I want him to remind me that he will be holding my dear and precious friends in his arms to as they face this awful time of grief and loss. That he will comfort those kids and that they will always feel their mother in their hearts and know that she is close by, watching over them and loving them from heaven where she is in fellowship with Jesus Christ. Where her body has been renewed and she is no longer suffering but rejoicing with God the Father. I want to be assured that this is a part of God’s plan and that no matter how difficult it is to understand, that God’s peace surpasses that understanding and that this family will feel that peace and be comforted.
I pray that everyone takes the time tonight to lift up their voices in prayer to God for the Monie Family. For Jon and for Cheyenne and James to be comforted in this most difficult time. I also pray that in honor of Angela we will all take the time to appreciate the things she will miss the most.